Thank you for purchasing this superb piece of
kit. I trust you will not be
disappointed with your investment. I
use the phase ‘investment’ advisedly.
This is most certainly an investment in the future of snacks
products. This Jarr, personalized as it
is with KP Skips paraphernalia is equally well suited to other major brands of
crisps and a large number of other foodstuffs which I will not bore you with
listing here. Suffice it to say that
you will not regret this excellent all-round joy-bringer. This document is not intended to inhibit
your use of the jar, but rather to offer guidelines for safe usage.
This Jarr has been manufactured in two distinct
components, the first of which has been designed from a silicone based material
which gives 360 degrees of real-time contents verification. This material, though giving more weight and
thus a better flight path and general all round durability, is brittle in a way
that average SkipsTM packets are not. It is therefore recommended that it not be dropped onto hard
surfaces unless in an emergency. One
good example of an emergency is being taken hostage and imprisoned with nothing
but a battered pair of shorts, the rope which ties you and the SkipsTM
Jarr. It was in just such a situation
that Jameson Montgomery (of Minkworth and Montgomery Exports) found his SkipsTM
Jarr came in very useful indeed. The
shards of the base material produced by the reaction with the concrete floor,
although not losing their built-in transparent properties, were sharp enough
for him to cut his bonds and escape.
The rest is history (specifically, he ran from the room and was halfway
down the steep mountain path when he remembered the scattered skips, ran back
for them and was recaptured).
Enough of the warnings. Instructions for use:
Initial setup
When you receive your SkipsTM Jarr you
will need to remove the Lateral Interface Device (henceforth referred to as a
LID). This is achieved by a sharp turn
in an anticlockwise direction relative to the main body of the Jarr. Approximately 90 degrees will suffice until
the LID is able to be removed completely by a vertical movement relative to
said Jarr. Now the Jarr is open. This procedure is the same for normal use,
but for the initial setup it is also necessary to remove the blank white
sticker on its protective backing, and personalize it as desired. It may then be attached at any point on
either the contents-verifier or the LID.
It may also be cut to size using approved scissors. Children please ask an adult to help.
Loading SkipsTM
When in the open position, carefully pour skips from
a valid packet into the interior of the Jarr.
If there is a problem fitting them all in, try shaking a bit (the Jarr,
not you). When fully loaded, repeat the
opening instructions backwards:
.nepo si rraJ eht woN .rraJ dias
ot evitaler tnemevom lacitrev a yb yletelpmoc devomer eb ot elba si DIL eht
litnu eciffus lliw seerged 09 yletamixorppA
.rraJ eht fo ydob niam eht ot evitaler noitcerid esiwkcolcitna na ni
nrut prahs a yb deveihca si sihT .(DIL
a sa ot derrefer htrofecneh) eciveD ecafretnI laretaL eht evomer ot deen lliw
uoy. This will ensure that the Jarr
is closed.
Equalizing air
pressure
This is achieved by a quarter turn of the LID in an
anticlockwise (pretending to the Jarr that you are going to open it). This will initiate the equalizer sequence,
and ensure the air inside is equivalent in all normal parameters to the air
outside.
Consuming SkipsTM
When you are ready to consume the contents of your
Jarr, merely repeat the loading instructions up to the point where you start
loading SkipsTM. At this
point, unload instead, and consume as you go.
General
maintenance
The SkipsTM Jarr will require cleaning,
but be careful when washing the outside, as stickers may take the opportunity
to slip away. To ensure the Jarr is
completely sterile, pour boiling water into it after rinsing with hot
water. Pour slowly to avoid stress
cracking. When it is full, pour the
water away and leave on a draining surface until the moisture has
evaporated. This will sterilize the
jar.
Other tips
Extensive tests have been carried out on this Jarr,
but I cannot vouch for it being as good as a packet when it comes to long term
storage. I put some skips in the Jarr
at 6:00pm one evening, and didn’t eat them until 2:00pm the next day and I
could detect no difference. KP would
have you believe that the Nitrogen they pack their crisps in helps them to last
longer, and for all I know it might be true.
We have arranged, therefore, to have the atmosphere almost 80% nitrogen,
and tests show that crisps seem to thrive.
Spares and Repairs
Contrary to popular opinion, spares are available
with minimal effort from supermarkets nationwide. The contents can generally be consumed, and any additional
promotional packaging removed. Repairs
are generally so major that only a complete replacement is possible,
however. Replacement stickers may, for
a limited period, be picked up in participating multi-packs of SkipsTM.
Any other problems, comments, testimonials, etc:
The team are always on hand to help